The present – Yes, the PRESENT! the gift, the precious gift we have been given. We’re told that we MUST live in the present, but how do we do that? All my life I have tried to live in the present, I have read lots of books, writings, listened to gurus, teachers, wise men, women, I have climbed mountains, travelled far and wide, looking for all the answers.
The answers to life. How to be happy? how do I change my life to a happier life? does happiness exist? how do I live in the present? They say that living in the present is the only way to be in the here and now and to be happy!
So, I tried. I set myself a task, to live in the now, to be happy. I was so desperate to be happy, to be in the here and now, I would do anything, so here is how I went about being happy and living in the here and now.
I must warn you that this didn’t happen overnight, it took me a few decades to carry out this experiment, but at the same time, I was desperate to find happiness for myself. Living in the now was a mission for me as I wanted to find happiness. I couldn’t be happy, no matter what! I tried everything, that I knew, read or heard about.
These are a few things I tried:
Vision boards, writing about my desires and wishes, making a list of things I wanted, law of attraction, reading the secret, listening to wise teachers, following gurus, reading wisdom-filled books, visualisation, meditation, contemplation, praying, NLP, EFT, healing myself, clearing my subconscious mind, healing my akashic records, balancing karma and so many other things.
I have tried a lot of things, however, I was no closer to being happy and manifesting my life in the present, in the here and now. No matter what I did, it felt like the most part of me lived in the past, couldn’t let go of the past, couldn’t make peace with what happened in the past. What was it that was pulling me back into my past?
I am a curious being, I do not allow myself to leave anything undealt, unresolved. I now know this is a good thing, although this can also be the worst, obsessive side of me that needs to succeed at all cost.
So, I had to learn about myself, no matter what I did, I couldn’t move on, I couldn’t find peace, couldn’t live in the present and be happy. On the surface of it, I had everything, a good job, a fulfilling career, wealth, my art to keep me happy, a good husband, a long and successful marriage, good friends, a good family, supportive and loving siblings, I travel a lot, I sell my art, success in writing and so much more, so, where was this happiness?
Then I asked myself, is anyone happy in this world? What is happiness? is happiness a state of mind as they all say? is happiness impossible? Are we all living a life of desperation, void and envy of others? Is our happiness dependent onto our own parents, society, Hollywood movies, social media, buying more things, fashion, acquiring more, wealth, big cars, big house, our upbringing, being loved by our parents, a good career, status, class, education, friendship, relationship status, success, health, wisdom and everything else we may think will make us happy?
The quest began? what is happiness? how do I live in the present? because it is here that I will find happiness. But how can I find happiness if all I think about is my past, how it hurt me, how my past led me to this bad place, how could this person do this, how could this person do that? why did this happen? How do I make it right? How do I seek revenge, balance, take back what was mine, taken with force? Everything a victim would think about, when feeling sorry for herself.
Lesson 1 – Things happen for you, NOT to you!
This took a long time for me to see. When we see that things happen to make us better, stronger, to empower us, we cease to be a victim. I want to save you years in finding this for yourself, but if you aren’t ready to hear this, then it is better you go and do your own walk, your own challenges to learn this lesson. Once you see that everything happens for a good reason, for your benefit, even the worst challenge, you heal fast. The situation heals fast.
Say someone has done you wrong, it may be in this life, it may even be something from past lives, this happens when you have immense anger, resentment, hatred towards someone whom you have barely interacted with, but there is a sense of disproportionate loss towards this entity. You are experiencing a past life trauma and it seems very real.
There a many lessons in a challenge like this, so you may be learning to stand up for yourself, to say no, to take back your life and control, to remove someone from your life, to reject a pattern, people and situations aligned with an addictive, chronically rotten pattern, seek revenge ( to teach the other person a lesson if they keep on abusing you), to call back your own self, to respect yourself, to love yourself, to honour your own self, to have strong boundaries, to honour life, to be strong, to speak out, to speak up, to have no fear of those who seem stronger than you, they aren’t, and so on …
Lesson 2 – Karma doesn’t balance, if we do not take action. The pain grows and grows and grows. Whilst you may be waiting for someone else to take the lead, it is you who must change YOUR life, not someone else. If someone who is unbalanced, disrespectful and controlling is in your life, it means YOU have allowed them in, you have allowed them to control you, you have never spoken up about their abuse, or not found the courage to face them, tell them off, remove them from your life, say no, say that’s enough, fight back and defeat them. It’s YOUR job to do what it takes to free yourself, no one else’s. There can be no happiness with an abusive person in your life.
Lesson 3 – go back to the past, live there, understand it, study it to heal it.
This will take a long time, often, it is our past lives, our ancestor’s lives, their energy, their vibe, the collective consciousness, other people’s projections, our own subconsciousness, karmic records (past, present and future actions), akashic records (records/memories of our own lives, lived as a sum of of all lives lived on this planet and others as well). It’s all a mezze of a mess, all of it spills over, our subconscious lives as if our past is happening right now. Everything mixed together, brings our lives into complete chaos, pain and suffering.
Understanding that our life is not only made of our life, but of all others, our ancestors, our society, religion, cultures, politics and a sum of our ancestor’s success, karmic actions, failures, their energies add to the bank balance of the current account. This account has always existed, there is either a positive or a negative balance in our account. If it’s positive, we will have a good balanced life, if it’s negative, then we need to act to balance that bank account, not only bring it to zero, but to add a good positive amount to it, so we can heal, prosper and lead a beautiful life. Once this is done, then we can live a happy life in the present. When we clear Karma, akasha, the ancestors’ records, we can then become peaceful and loving.
As an example – If one of our ancestors was always unhappy, broken, suffered loss, resented others, we are likely to carry this frequency in our DNA. Nothing goes away, until healed, cleared and dealt with. If someone you met was a perpetrator, abuser, there is a likelihood that their ancestors were. They are born in a similar soul group. We all are, if we were enslaved, we are likely to be born into our own soul group of those ancestors who have been enslaved, worked hard labour, paid very little, who have a destructive habit of losing everything, their own life, health, losing money, being poor, dysfunctional, live in hatred, chronic anger, abuse, self abuse, self harm, live in shame, disgust, humiliation – as slavery brings all of these to the person. When this is left unhealed, it carries over from generation to generation, into infinity, until someone breaks the pattern, heals the past, balances karma and releases the whole family from all that pain and suffering.
So, this is the power of our own family history, we must know the whole story of our ancestors, to be able to heal it, release others, ourselves from all pain and suffering, so the past doesn’t repeat itself, doesn’t happen again, so your powers come back to you, but also to your ancestors, all the spirits heal and then only, we can all be happy.
Lesson 4 – healing the past, heals the present and future.
There can be no present, without the past. There can be no future, without the present and the past. Time isn’t linear, it’s all happening all at once, it’s a point, the zero point, everything happens all at once. Your past is your present is your future. Deal with life as a point of target, the beginning is the end is the continuous point. Time is an illusion, what is happening now, is your past, present an future, so in reality, there is no past, no present, no future, you’re REALLY living in the now, but you don’t know it.
This is the point of living, once you realise you are already living in the NOW, you win. What your brain is leading you to is not the past, it’s the now point, the energy that needs healing. The chaos is an intertwining of energies and a mixture of a large number of vibrations, frequency and energies that are trying to help you innerstand that all of it is a sum of you! you are them, they are you, all is ONE!
So, wait a minute, how do I heal the past, if there is no past? time is an illusion, once you understand that, everything collapses. You live in the zero point, your past lives aren’t your past lives, they are happening now. They need to be released, they need to be healed, they need to be closed as a timeline, so you aren’t confused with so much happening all at once, we are limitless beings, many timelines are open all at once, once we close timelines, be in full control of our life, our infinite nature, that things are always happening, if we don’t become in control, then someone else or something else will take control of OUR own space, energy, frequency and vibration and claim it as their own.
Lesson 5 – our life is a SUM of all.
The infinite nature of us is due to the fact that life is seeking to manifest itself through everyone we meet, what they are throwing back at us, is what we have accepted for a long time. If we are the perfect victim, we’ll meet the perfect evil perpetrator. They are just what we need so we can free ourselves to be the beautiful soul that we crave.
The abuser will teach us how to free ourselves from their abuse. It’s all necessary for life to be free. If we do nothing, they will carry on abusing us, if we act, they will fight back, as they do not want to lose a quiet giver, who never complains. They will fight you, to keep you enslaved, then it all depends on you, do you want to free yourself, or do you want to stay in their evil slavery? All is up to you, dependent on you, your now is asking you to make the change for you. The bad person comes to teach you freedom, love, peace, balance, abundance, respect, life and brings you boundaries, strength, courage, goodness, wealth, your powers in infinite proportions.
Lessons learnt! living in the present in happiness. I am grateful for the lessons.